Alright, so this post is gonna be kinda short..

Alright, so tonight wasn’t the party, it was postponed until tomorrow.. And TBEC is DEFINITELY coming!!! :D I am SOOOOO excited!! TBEC told my friend that he wanted to play Truth or Dare. And I told my friend that I WILL get that kiss, even if I have to steal it from him! :D (He JUST texted me.. <3)

And then one of my BEST friends, that I’ve known since like the second grade.. Has the HUGEST crush on TBEC.. I mean HUGE! She wrote a a whole page about him, she doodles about him, and it’s just… UGH!! I mean.. He doesn’t like her like that AT ALL.. So I really have nothing to worry about.. But still.. She knows how I feel about him.. And she still, like… UGH!!!!

Anyway! Party tomorrow, sleepover, and swimming, and I WILL get that effing kiss, if its the LAST thing I do!

I’ll have a full report by Sunday!! :D

Alright!! So I auditioned for a school of the arts in my town and I got my letter yesterday!! And I got in!! :)

Anyway!! So I was talking to TBEC earlier, and I recently got bangs! So I was getting ready to shower and I told him I would talk to him later.. And then after I was done flat ironing my bangs I had to put away my laundry.. and he was all “psshh didn’t text me back.” And I was all “sorry! I was doing my bangs!!” And he was all “sorry if this is out of line.. but you look really cute with bangs.” All polite and all! It totally made my day, right there!!

And then my friends birthday party is tomorrow, and she knows I really like TBEC.. So she talked to him and asked him if he wanted to come to my party… and he said YES!!!!! I couldn’t believe it!!! I am sooooo excited for her SLEEPOVER party tomorrow!! It’s not even funny!! I’m kinda scared tho too… I mean like.. What if I get all socially awkward, like I always do, and freeze up when he’s talking to me? Or what if I stutter more than usual?! What if I like have a panic attack or something?! What if I sweat a lot?! What if I DIE!???!?!?!? OMG! I think I would die if any of those things happened to me! I mean like super embarrassed!!! I would die of embarrassment! Not even exaggerating. Cause once one embarrassing thing happens tomorrow.. A whole line of embarrassing things happen… :/

So I just apologized in advance. For anything embarrassing I do tomorrow. And I garantee that I WILL do something bad… :/ so nervous but REALLY excited for the party!! :D I’ll post another blog entry either tomorrow sometime during the party, or on Saturday. :) Night!!

Alright!! I have tumblr on my phone now!! So i can post things all the time, everytime! All day, everyday!

Im hella gonna be one of those girls whos blogging when shes with her friends! And mayyybe posting pics!

Alright so this weekend i went over to my friends house and tried something new!! I started to smoke… Nothing big, just pot. But it was soooo trippy! I got sooo high! I was just… Whoa!

And if you’re reading this you might be thinking: “awww man.. Another California pothead.. :/” or you could be thinking: “shes gonna talk about pot like all the time now! >:/”

But i assure you i wont! I might or might not have some posts where im high. But i most likely wont! Sp u have nothing to worry about!!

Anyway.. Night!! :)

Alright, so this post thing is gonna be super short. It’s just.. yeah, short.

So I’ve decided that instead of posting a blog like everyday or like rarely, I’m going to do one every Wednesday and or Thursday. And whenever there’s emergencies I’ll post one if its not a Wednesday or Thursday. :)

So yeah, that’s pretty much it. 

Night! :D

So I had my audition and I think I totally tanked it… :/

(When I refer to “us being naughty” I mean through texting.)

Alright! So we’re are going to talk about a new guy today.. I shall call him 21. Because he is 21. And mind you, there IS an age difference. So we can’t be “naughty” or anything because of that age difference. I’m not the one with the problem… I mean seriously, he is SEXY as cuss! (I say cuss now, instead of swearing because it’s funny!) I mean amazingly hot! And we have been naughty on a few occasions (thanks to my friend) and he really really liked it.. And I certainly don’t mind! But he keeps stopping and telling me we can’t do this and blah-blah-BLAH!

So here is our conversation from today:

Me: Soo if I was there with you now… Would you kiss me?

Him: Yeah, everywhere! ;)

Me: Would you hold me by the waist and kiss me until my lips hurt?

Him: We have to stop this… :/

And he got all lame on me… But I took his avoidance of the question as a definite yes!!

Which is SUPER LAME!!! I’m like cussing mad right now! Except not really… :)

And then my friends SUPER HOT friend, texted me from her phone and told me I was cute! He gave me his number and texted me a gabajillion times… But my phone hates him and won’t get it!! :( Makes me cussing sad!!!

Anyway… Night! :)

Alright, so I don’t really have anything to say in this blog…

Soooo this week has been super tiring cause it was the first few days back at school since break. And tomorrow is one of my friends birthdays so I’m going over there for a little party-ish thing. But, the big thing of tomorrow is I have an audition for a school of the arts in my town. Super nervous! I’m auditioning for Clarinet, doing a song from Phantom of the Opera.

I’m excited. :)

Anyway, don’t really have much else to say….

Alright, I wasn’t gonna post a blog tonight, but if I don’t do it tonight, then I’m gonna end up crying myself to sleep..

So I was talking to my friend about TBEC, and how amazing I think he is. And how he told me he wishes he didn’t have a girlfriend, to go out with me. But then my friend thought about it. She thought: If he really liked me like he says he does; enough to break up with his girlfriend, then why hasn’t he? She thinks that he wants me as a back up girlfriend. So when and if they break up he’ll have me.

And don’t get me wrong, I like him I really really like him. But as much as I want to just discard the idea, and forget it was said… It makes sense. Perfect, sense. The thought of him, saying all the things he said just so he can save me, and have me later, makes me sad. Seriously, seriously sad.

Tomorrow is our first day back at school since Winter Break, and at first I was excited to see my friends. And him… But now.. Now I just wanna stay home and cry. And yell at him, and avoid him, and cry to my best friend, and go around school just… sad.

Crying over a boy is stupid, and I refuse to do it.. But the fact that my eyes aren’t as rational as my brain, it looks like I have no choice…

HAPPY NEW YEAR!! Blah blah blah…

My biggest New Years Resolution is to not be as socially afraid, and get out there more; not to over think everything. That and maybe not get so angry at people all the time. And MAYBE be more committed to school, I reeeeally need to get good grades.

Now that we’ve covered all of that time to get on what happened through the week, specifically in these past 2 days. Guy wise and socially wise, it was THE BEST 2 days I’ve had considering guys and having my friend help me become un-awkward. :)

So this guy who is significantly older than I, who is amazingly gorgeous and funny shined a light of him I’ve only seen once. But this time is was different. He was talking to my friend I had invited over for a sleepover, about me and… sex. It was soooooo weird. A while ago he told me I was cute, and had a sexy body. This time he told my friend that he would… never mind.. Lets just say it was detailed and explicit.

But then today! OMG! Well it all started when my friend asked for TBEC’s number so she could ask him if he liked me. He didn’t answer and told her to mind her own buisness.. But then I got the guts to ask him what he would’ve said if he did answer her question. He told me that he would’ve said how much he likes me, and how he wishes he wasn’t in a relationship with someone already. And I was like aww, I feel special. And he was all you are special. You’re different from any other girl that I’ve met. And I told him thank you, and he had made me the happiest girl in the world.

I still am too! Best New Years of my whole entire life! Happy New Year everyone! :)