Alright, I wasn’t gonna post a blog tonight, but if I don’t do it tonight, then I’m gonna end up crying myself to sleep..

So I was talking to my friend about TBEC, and how amazing I think he is. And how he told me he wishes he didn’t have a girlfriend, to go out with me. But then my friend thought about it. She thought: If he really liked me like he says he does; enough to break up with his girlfriend, then why hasn’t he? She thinks that he wants me as a back up girlfriend. So when and if they break up he’ll have me.

And don’t get me wrong, I like him I really really like him. But as much as I want to just discard the idea, and forget it was said… It makes sense. Perfect, sense. The thought of him, saying all the things he said just so he can save me, and have me later, makes me sad. Seriously, seriously sad.

Tomorrow is our first day back at school since Winter Break, and at first I was excited to see my friends. And him… But now.. Now I just wanna stay home and cry. And yell at him, and avoid him, and cry to my best friend, and go around school just… sad.

Crying over a boy is stupid, and I refuse to do it.. But the fact that my eyes aren’t as rational as my brain, it looks like I have no choice…